Voice Lessons From A Light Switch
Growing up in Los Angeles had its perks, but public school education wasn’t one of them. Teacher strikes, riots, underfunding, a paddle in the principle’s office, and math classes consisting of writing Roman numerals at our desks from 1 to 1000 so the teacher wouldn’t have to engage or even see our eyeballs for 40 minutes a day. All of it left an eager learner like me crying, “water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink.”
Brutal, real, there are no mincing words here. Most of the teachers either wanted nothing to do with us or actively abused their power, forcing us “gifted” ten-year-olds, whatever the heck that means, to discuss subjects like late-term abortion, complete with pictures of infants in trash receptacles. Mr. Evans, yup, I’ll name names because we’re in my classroom now, loved the shock value of little children absorbing the horror of it all and then “discussing” the merits. From his perspective, the younger the face, the older the subject matter, the better.
I remember staying home from school for days to complete a 10-page paper comparing and contrasting the philosophers Dewey, Hegel, and Russel. My mom and I, God Bless Her, sat at our dining room table, pages of outlines strewn over encyclopedia volumes and philosophy tombs, trying to write that damn paper. We still only managed to eke out a B because we had mistakenly compared their philosophies instead of how many children and wives they had. Way to miss the point, Mr Evans.
Big surprise, it wasn’t long after she started homeschooling me. She could do better than that, for sure.
On the other hand, my little brother lucked out with the pick of the teacher litter, and Mrs Moynihan stood heads and tales above the rest. In first grade, the children were challenged, respected, and inspired. They looked forward to school daily, and Mrs. Moynihan loved teaching them. Funny how that changes everything, right?
And this is where the light switch enters the story.
At this age, the students were still staying in one classroom for all subjects, going from history to math (actual math), to language arts, and science all from the same desks. It’s tricky switching gears at any age, let alone that young. You hit a groove, then there’s another groove to find, and in the time you say, “All right, next!” all sorts of chaos can erupt. But teachers have a big job to do and only so many hours in the day to do it, so instead of anarchy, Mrs. Moynihan got creative, again.
As soon as the little angels (ahem) had finished one subject, let’s say math, she would calmly walk over to the light switch and start rapidly flipping it on and off again. The children instantly quieted, as their wide eyes bugged out, and Mrs. Moynihan would calmly say, “We are now entering a period of transition!” flip, flip, flip, “and are leaving math,” blink, blink, blink, “and switching to” flip, flip, flip, “HISTORY!” With one more flip, the light was restored to the classroom, the children blinked once more as they acclimated to the new steadiness in their environment, put away their math books, and picked up a history worksheet.
Although I never spent a single day with her, I have never “entered a period of transition” in my entire life that did not feel like Mrs. Moynihan’s first-grade classroom. New school (blink, blink, blink), new home (blink, blink, blink), college (blink, blink, blink), marriage (blink, blink, blink), first child born (blink, blink, blink), new job (blink, blink, blink), second child, second house, third child, new business, kids in college, parent illness… I could go on for days. The world is MADE of “periods or transitions,” and we, blink, blink, blink, bug out, desperately trying to find our grasp on the new world we’re entering. Is it dark? Is it light? Is it both? Sometimes transitions last for days, sometimes months, and sometimes years.
How many times, as singers, have we entered periods of transition? To develop, we must let go of old habits and patterns of tension, and those days, months, and, yes, years can cause complete havoc on our voices! Cracking, airiness, weakness, and instability are all markers of growth, of leveling up in our voice technique, but who wants that? Who wants to perform in front of anyone when they aren’t sure what their voice will do? No one.
In fact, even in a voice lesson, with not a single other person watching besides our trusted voice teacher, we will still run for the hills at the mere hint of weakness. For example, learning how to stabilize the mix and middle vocal registers forces us to face every demon. What is my voice doing? Why is my voice doing that? I’ve never felt that before, ever. This can’t be right. It sounds horrible! I can’t control anything! Dear God, what if I sound like this forever!?!? I’ll never be cast again! Never mind! I’ll just belt instead…
You should run! It makes total sense. Because no one likes it when the lights start flashing. It’s scary, uncertain, and high risk. But here’s what I know. All of a sudden, the lights will stop flashing. Life will remove its hand from your light switch, and if you stick with it, instead of running from the studio, from this new voice coming out of your face and all of your potential, your instrument will stabilize. It will steady itself. Your voice will stop cracking, your eyes will stop bugging out, and you will enter a new world of possibilities.
All you have to do is acknowledge that you’re in a period of transition! You aren’t failing. You aren’t doing something wrong. The lights are just flipping on and off! No use holding on to what you thought made sense, let it go, blink, blink, blink. Relax into it, flip, flip, flip. Allow your voice to make new sounds, freer sounds, easier sounds, blink, blink, blink. Give your voice the time, space, and grace to figure itself out. There’s nothing to fix because it’s not broken! It’s just in “a period of transition,” and if you trust the process, all of a sudden, the light will return, and you’ll find new, solid ground under your feet. Your voice will feel better than ever, and you will be rewarded for all your efforts.
So, my darling singers, as you enter the practice room today, allow your Voice to be your guide. Remember, this is what you want! This is why you’re taking voice lessons, to grow! To shift! And if today you can not find solid ground, may Mrs. Moynihan’s light switch lead the way in the dark, or light, or both. And may every “period of transition” bless you as much as it bugs you out, blink, blink, blink. No matter what, we will walk all of it together, hand in hand, singing a beautiful little cracky song along the way.
